I have a form of irritable bowel syndrome, which means I tend to suffer from gas. I live in fear (okay, I am?

exaggerating a little) that one day I will pass gass in public, and it will be obvious it's me. What would be the best way to deal with that if it happens? Should I just pretend nothing happened, or say "excuse me", or what?

Well, yes, of course ideally I would do it in the bathroom, but I'm talking about if it slips out accidentally, such as can happen if one laughs.

excuse your self if in a confined area otherwise act like nothing has happened

I say you walk and fart and move right away when you let it out i do it when i get gas i dont care lol if you walk away fast enough they wont know its you.

I'm not sure what sort of backward country you grew up in where passing gas is an issue. Be proud of your farts. Each one is a little bit of music that you performed.

The polite thing to do would be to say "excuse me"; although if you could it would be better to go to a bathroom, pass gas and then return to whatever you were doing.

you say your friends name so people think it was them:)

Laugh at yourself, and say excuse me. THen explain, man i have a lot of gas ok? better out then in!

Simply say Excuse Me and continue with your conversation. Most people will move on if you are cordial after it. If you do nothing though, they are more likely to think poorly if you don't address the issue.

I would bring along an infant when ever possible. When you let one sneak out blame it on the kid. They are too small to explain what really happened and everyone know babies are gassy.

I ahve the same problem. A girl used to take the mick and bully me, so I did it more. I only did it to this one person as an insult as she was such a control freak! It kept her out of my personal space though. She smoked....just as pungent. I said you stop smoking and my wind stops...no truce heheheh. Both unsavoury though. Normally, I do it silently and walk away. Everybody has wind. If you do a loud one, give the person nearest to you a dirty look. I did that at a concert in Manchester recently. If anyone does break wind loudly, I am more likely to laugh!

If someone blames it on you just say you didn't do it. Blame it on the person standing next to you. =)
Or you could just say "Excuse me I ate some beans today."

Keep some Tums or other gas medications on you to counter the gas symptoms and production. If you pass gas in public, don't admit to it and just keep moving.

I have bad gas also. If it happens, there's nothing you can do but pretend it didn't happen.
The worst is when I am with my personal trainer and I have bad gas. Last night I had it for about 1/2 the training session and it was so hard to workout while holding in the gas at the same time, not to mention the anxiety of wondering if it's going to slip out while he's spotting me lol.

Proper ettiquette is to treat it as if it didn't happen, just keep walking and say nothing.