My sons and I have very litttle money. In the very beginning, when I was diagnosed, I was so sick, they told my girlfriend (who lives in CA), that it didnt look good for me. She flew in to Detroit from CA, dropped all she had going there for herself, including her own family, to come to MI and nurse me to health. SHe was determined to at least get me into remission. The Dr said he couldnt cure it, but he was going to try his best to get me into remission. That was a yr ago, when they also said that I probably wasnt going to last very long.
Anyway. As of Oct 2008, I have basically made3 a huge turn around., and I thank the Lord, my Fiance', and my boys, for the strength and the need to fight. Pray, fight to live. Eat as much as possible ( if u cannot eat, you MUST try to drink at least 5-6 ensure PLUS'e throughout a day to keep the strength and protein up. I you CAN eat a little something, drink at least one bottle with each meal, and stay as stressless as possible, Stress,and sadness, I can tell you, WILL make the disease grow, and grow quicker. It wil make you feel good. Heres a little diet I recommend. Baked or grilled Salmon or some kind of fish ( I prefer salmon thats been marinated in honey and a little grey poupon mustard), Salad, bottle of Ensure, boiled small red skin potatoes, and a FUNNY or COMEDY movie, or stand up show on tv or go rent a few (oh yeah, try to get your hands on some shark cartlage pills. They work wonders for cancer patience. Dr's will disagree but its true.
Back to the Laughter, It will help as well. But anyways, I just wanted to throw what works or has worked for me, and ask what should I do about the emotional side of things within me? What I know, I know works on me physically, but I love my sons so very very much. We have a small 3 bedroom house that I've been renting for 8 years (but now i recieve SSI, and its rough, really rough) Anyways, the boys and I are basically the 3 amigos. We are all we have together. Of course they have their friends, and I would never take that away from them, but its basically when I'm alone, or when they are sleeping at night that I start thinking about the days they were born, going back in time, knowing (or should I say NOT knowing) how long I'll be able to survive and the thoughts of when I leave them. They will live with my fiance' if anything was to happen but I hate to think of that. I sit and watch them sleep at night, and sing "you are my sunshine" until I cry myself to sleep. I dont know what to do, cuz, no one really knows when one will leave this earth, but for some reason, my sadness, grief, and thoughts of leaving them behind, seems to be a killer. One just as big as the cancer itself. I'm finally not in as much pain as I once was, so I try to get the 3 of us out together and go to the park or something that doesnt cost too much because of our financial situation, but that also makes me very depressed, not being able to take the boys to some place like Cedar point for a day of fun together, after they have worked all year long at school. Its depressing, and they know about my disease, but at their ages (9and 11), it bothers them, I know it does! Probably not as much as it bothers me, but I really wanted to do something nice for /or with them before I;m called to Lord forever. I want them to always remember me. Daddy. The one who has always been there. The one who always took care of them no matter what! The one they know would protect them from anything (including their "ex mom"), and I hate to say that, but if you knew her, you'd understand.
My question (Finally) is, what do you suggest to a daddy who loves his young boys more than life itself, but knows theres only so much I can do to make them (happier) in this time in my life. I pray everyday for forgiveness, and for the lord to take care of them, mentally, emotionally, and physically) if I was to leave while they are still really young, But I'm still scared, and sad, and could use some words of support and encouragement. Sorry about any and all typos and probably one of the longest questions ever, but I guess I just needed someone to talk to about this pain in my heart. ( Love Hurts!)...
Hope to hear from a few of you soon.
Thanks everyone for your time!
Peace,
Detroitrocker I know your pain. I am a young mother of a 2 year old and I have been battling cancer since he was a week old. I have several complications from the two surgeries I have had and I'm going in for another surgery soon. It fills me with sadness and pain when I think of all the things I always wanted to do as a mom - when I think of the "mom I wanted to be" - I can't do most of what I would like to do with him.
It makes me feel like a terrible mom and like he deserves someone better.
But I know I do the best I can and I know he is happy and well loved.
I would definately keep trying to do the fun stuff, even if it's just a movie or something simple that won't wear you out much. I have to pick and choose our activities so I don't get too sick and weak. I'm sure they love just spending time with you and watching goofy videos at night with you.
Rest assured you are building great memories that will last their lifetimes. That is very important.
I have kept pictures and scrap books of us as a family so my son will have them should the unthinkable happen - it doesn't have to be fancy - just a photo album will do. If you have the energy, snapfish.com has some great photo book projects that are easy and come together well for not too much money.
I would do the best you can to show them that no matter what happens they are a family - they can take care of each other and they will always be brothers. That will help with your guilt of possibly leaving them one day. If you know they can stick up for each other, defend each other, comfort each other, etc. then you will be at peace in your heart if (god forbid) anything happens to you.
Be thankful to have this time with them - and just spend each moment enjoying them and letting them know you enjoy them. Some people in your position would have given up and would not have had this last year to spend with them, much less the time you have coming still.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I know how you feel and I want you to know you are not alone.
Try to stay strong for them. Hi, Please do some research at the following> I am so sorry! The best you can do is pray to the Lord and wish that he helps you! They know how much you love them and that's what really matters. This connects to me because my uncle is in remission for leukimia and he has two sons. He loves them so much and his marriage is in trouble. I will pray for you!!!!!!!
I hope this helped! I know you're hurting!
God Bless you!
You have my deepest sympathy for you and your sons. May you and your sons enjoy the time you all have left. Pictures for memories.
How about a video diary. Tell them about yourself growing up, funny stories, best times in your life, a few worse times including how you resolved situations. Let them know your expectations.
Tell them what you hope, wish, and how sorry you feel that you can't see: them graduate, married with childrengrandwhildren, choose which careers, etc.
Tell your children of your family best memories, vacations and happy tiimes your family spent together. About things they did while growing up that brought joy to your heart. If you witnessed their birth, talk about that experience.
You can even tell them how you and your wife met and regretfull reasons of the divorce. (if desired).
Record you and your sons playing together, ect. This will make them feel how close you were with them. There are many things you can do to let them see you in video as you would have liked.
Do just leave behind video only of the family vacations, etc. Get personal.
This will be a valuable video treasure where they can see you express your feelings, the sound of your voice, etc. If you can sing orr have any other talents, let them see and hear.
I hope this is the type of info you requested and needed.
Again, I wish the best for you and your sons.
Remember, if you decide tho pursue this project, make a recording for each son.
I was the son in your very story in 2002 and speaking from experience i would say just to spend as much time with them as possible and do "guy" things, like a ball game or fishing. That time is worth way more than any material item would ever be.
Thinking of you,
Jim First of all, you sound like a very strong man. I'm sorry you are going through this. Stay Positive! Stay Strong!
Kids are pretty strong, you would be surprised.
I think it would be best to marry your fiance, and make it legal for her to raise the boys, just in case anything were to happen.
That way the "ex egg donor" wouldn't have any legal rights.
You can beat this cancer! Look at Lance Armstrong, if there's a will then there's a way.
Fight! Fight! Fight! That's all you can do.
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