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| *Women health>>>Lung Cancer |
A friend of mine has been fighting lung cancer (never smoked a day in his life)? |
yesterday after fighting for quite a while he finally died. :( i really miss him and feel horrible for his wife. she obviously is having a hard time with this considering his young age and how much she loves him. for those of you that have been through something similar, what can i do to help? i just don't know how to go about this. i know she needs everyones help and i really do love the both of them and hate seeing her like this. what should i do? :( When somebody dies whether from a long standing illness , like cancer, or from a sudden heart attack with no warning, it is always a shock. Many times everyone says "what can I do?" and "I know just how you feel" but after the funeral & immediate time after, you don't hear from them again. Most of the time your friends really DON'T know what to do, so they avoid the grieving people.. The main reason this happens is the fear of death,,,and guilt. They feel "God, I'm so glad that wasn't me (or my husband, son, or daughter) that died...I'm glad it was her." Then they feel guilty about their feelings, so they avoid you. The friends could help by bringing food, doing shopping, laundry, help with the housework, or just coming over to visit. Of course it is uncomfortable, esp. when most people fear & don't know how to talk about death. Please, everyone should talk about the person who died, to keep her or his memory alive, but of course feel the grieving person's stage of grief & act accordingly. Look at albums, have a picnic or barbecue in the person's favorite spot. Go on a day trip to the beach to get out of the house. Everyone is different and people grieve at their own pace. Just be there...like a friend should be. I am so sorry your friend passed on. Yes people do get lung cancer without smoking. I had a friend in high school. He was highly allergic to alcohol and never drank booze. Yet he died at seventeen of cirrhosis of the liver. it's a process she need to go through, just be there for her and also give her space, but let her know you are there if she needs you... |
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