Is it Schizophrenia that has me this way?

Ok whenever I see or hear about heinous crimes on the news, I wonder if I am capable of such crimes myself and I argue with myself over this to the point where sometimes I have myself convinced I'm some kind of monster but whenever I'm with my friends or outbuy these thoughts never cross my mind, it's only when I'm all alone, and in this time I also think back to silly stuff I did as a child and this too has me convinced I'm a bad person and I think my head will explode sometimes with all the negative thoughts that pour in, my brain never shuts off, I'm constantly questioning every little activity or action I do, whether it will result in good or bad.

I'm asking basically for clarification of what this is and how I can be helped, and don't say you need serious phyciatric help NOW!!! cause I don't want to go through all that. I just want advise as to how I can help myself bury all the **** that is running through my head affecting my every move?

I think I've been like this the majority of my life which has made me make some poor decisions but I'm only mature enough now to realise I have a serious problem.

I'm 18 btw and I don't want this ruining my life cause there's many great things I want outta life.

You said you have all the symptoms besides 2. Well, I'm sure you don't have 1, because if you did have 1, you would be 100% convinced that you did NOT have one. Scizophrenic's experience dellusions and no matter how rational you try to explain to them why there delusions are not true and no matter how much evidence you provide to support you claim (the truth) that in fact their delusions are false, they will never believe you.

I don't think you have schizophrenia, but no one on here can REALLY tell you that you do or don't, you would need to be diagnosed by a professional, but for what it's worth in my opinion you don't have it. This may be somewhat irrevelant but you said you spend time wondering if you are capable of commiting such crimes, well, thee have been tests done that prove just about anyone is capable of anything (even murder) under the right circumstances, so no matter what ultimate descision you made concerning that its normal. There was some test where people were told they had to administer an electric shock to another person and they did it, even up to the point where it killed the other person (it was all an act and the "victims" were actors everyone was in on it besides the individual doing the test) just because they were told to do it by an authority figure.

The best advice I can give you is just to calm down and try not to make your brain run a mile a minute, just calm down, relax, and think through things nice and slow and you will hopefully figure out some sort of solution to your problems.

Definitely not schizophrenia. Sounds more like depression and your thoughts are caused by low self-esteem/depression.
Depression causes your head to fill up with all kinds of thoughts and it can be hard to stop them.
I would talk to your doctor about this.

it does not sound to me like schizophrenia
you don't mention hearing voices or them telling you to do things question what you did in the past is good
sounds like you care
try to have a positive attitude and take care

I can relate. . . one of my friends passed away and I was convinced it was my fault. Go to a therapist (yes, you have to, your life is gonna be HELL without help) and see what you can do. Good luck.

Schizophrenia

Signs and Symptoms
Schizophrenia is a mental illness that usually strikes in late adolescence or early adulthood, but can strike at any time in life. The signs and symptoms vary from individual to individual, but all people with the disorder show one or more of the following symptoms:

1. Delusions: These are beliefs that are not true, such as feeling people are following or trying to hurt them, believing other people can read their minds, or beliefs that they have special powers or abilities.
2. Hallucinations: This usually takes the form of hearing voices that are not there, but people with schizophrenia may also see, smell, taste, and feel things that are not there.
3. Bizarre behavior: This can be expressed in many different ways. In short, the individual behaves in ways that seem inappropriate or strange to other people.
4. Disorganized speech: The individual speaks in ways that are hard to understand. For instance, sentences might not make sense, or topic of conversation changes with little or no connection between sentences. Sometimes speech is completely incomprehensible.
5. "Negative symptoms": This includes lack of motivation or interest, diminished cognitive functioning, and decreased emotional expression. Individuals may lose interest in attending to their own personal hygiene, have little interest in interacting with others, and rarely seem to feel or express strong emotions.

In addition to these above symptoms, people with schizophrenia suffer a decline in their level of functioning; for instance, they may not be able to work at a job that requires the same level of skill or concentration as the job they held before they became ill required, or they may lose all ability to withstand the pressures of the working world. They may show a decline in their ability to attend to household chores or all the demands of raising their children, and/or they may not be able to have a full social life anymore.

Sometimes schizophrenia is a chronic condition, and the individual afflicted is constantly experiencing hallucinations or other symptoms of the disorder. Other people have periods of time when they are relatively symptom-free but have periods of more acute psychosis. Every individual is different, and every person with schizophrenia experiences the disease in a different way.