Stress........?

i am so stressed right now. im 13 and my family fights all the time. i come home to screaming and fighting. i normally just go to my room after school and cry, actually right now im crying because i have a few f's on my report card and my mom told me i may have to stay for summer school which i really dont want. all my teachers just keep giving my more and more work, when i pass stuff in they just take it. nobody has ever said to me "good job rose, this is great" or "your so awesome for passing this into me!", i feel like people just want more, more, more from me!! and i have the worst science teacher that makes me leave class crying. im only in 7th grade i cant take it. every day i come home with a migrane or stress headache..all of my friends get honors and im going to have to stay for freakin summer school..and when i told my 'friend' i got an 80 on a social studies test, they said "thats not even that good"...please be serios with this...maybe a muture adult..please answer this.

Hey Rose,

It saddens me to hear that you are feeling really stressed out.

But I have to say that you are doing what most people don't do. You're acknowledging that you are stressed and you are doing something about it. That's really cool. Well done.

As a teenager I didn't know how to communicate with others, I just shut down. My parents always argued and I always blamed myself for this. But I realize now that it wasn't my fault. This was just the way it was. Our parents are human after all.

So what can you do with feeling stressed?

1. Breathe. Can you breathe in and out for me now? How does that feel? Breathing connects us back to ourself. So keep breathing.

2. Don't listen to your negative internal dialog. You are doing wonderfully well. Repeat this to yourself. You're a star, a shining light. Be kind to yourself.

3. Get outside when you are feeling stressed, go for a walk, exercise, cycling. By getting into our bodies we get out of internal dialog.

4. Smile. Just by smiling we change everything. Our difficult day turns round. We don't have to have everything going our way to smile. Smile, however you are feeling.

Good luck my friend. I hope that this helps. I have a website with other stress relief techniques at www.Stress-Relief-Choices.com or videos on www.youtube.com/pierscross.

With kindness,

Piers Cross

im not an adult, but im 15 and going through the same bullshit. all i can really reccommend is taking time to cool off. and remember, you are only doing this for you. who gives a **** what others think of your grades?


:)

When theres fighting at home you should tell your parents what this does to you.Tell them whats happening at school.That way your keeping them informed of why this happens.The thing I'm here to tell you is stay focused on your school work.Tell your teachers in those subjects whats happening at home.That way they can help in some way.

Go to your school counselor as soon as possible. Tell them what you told us. You need some help...with school and with the stress you have at home. The sooner the better. kjl

See study tips, and memory improvement, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in sections 13, and 41, and start study/homework groups with friends, Academics is only one pathway to success, and many people are just not suited to it, so don't stress too much about it. Richard Branson left school at 16, and Winston Churchill was not a well-performed student. Your future may well be in another field, such as: graphic artist, real estate, cinematography, feng shui consultant, landscaping, fashion design, aromatherapist, music industry, photographer, etc. School is about teaching some basics, and keeping students occupied, so adults can work, that's all! Try many things (except drugs, binge drinking, and the more dangerous ones) and develop those areas in which you perform well. ~~~ See stress treatments, at ezy build, below on page 42. Practise daily, one of the relaxation techniques on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i; whichever works best for you, but the mindfulness breathing for 15 - 20 mns is ideal, although the progressive muscle relaxation can be learned quickly, and takes only several minutes, if pressed for time. Employ the EFT version for use in public, for which you can reasonably claim that you have a headache, as you massage/tap your temples, but it may be advisable to restrict yourself to subvocalising (saying it to yourself, in your mind, not aloud). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o refer. "Even though I sometimes suffer from stress, I deeply and completely accept myself".

You can also multitask, using the gazing technique, as you walk/jog or exercise, by focusing on a distant object, noting any thoughts which flash across your mind, without pursuing any particular train of thought, just gently redirect your focus to the gazing. Yoga, or Tai Chi may suit others, better. For some people, visualisation of a quiet, relaxing scene, like a tropical beach, (feel the sun warming you, as a gentle breeze caresses your skin lightly, inhaling the tangy, salt laden spray from the sparkling, translucent, aqua waves, crashing on the white, sandy beach, as the seagulls swoop and cavort playfully overhead in a cloudless, azure sky; you feel just like one of them; free to soar and cartwheel, or just glide, in the moist, heavy air, and that this moment will last forever.....) works well for them.

Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily, replacing 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements, or a teaspoonful of the oil (I spread mine on toast, and mask its strong taste with fishpaste, and pepper), in the winter months only. Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult, to achieve. Eat healthily, in accordance with your "nutritional type" as determined at http://www.mercola.com/ SEARCHBAR.

Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea (from supermarket tea aisles) from Celestial Seasonings, or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable). C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk.

Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey, because these will reduce "sugar spikes", which later deplete you of energy. Minimise/eliminate consumption of highly processed foods, particularly grain products, such as white bread, donuts, cake, cookies/biscuits, or anything with sugar. Opt for more wholefoods, non-starchy vegetables, and fruit. Migraine is addressed in section 14. Bose has noise cancelling headphones, and there are similar earbuds, or turn your MP3/MP4 player, or headphones up (not too loud!!!) and read/relax.

i'm going through the same exact thing! i know where you're coming from. i'm trying to deal with it too, but good luck to you.

pray, it helps :)

Hi Rose: Some times life can get real tough. If you stude real hard you still have time to get thoses F's up to at least a D+ and that will keep you out of summer school. But down summer school, It's a blast and you go thru a whole year of work in 6 weeks. So what I did is take some of the tuff classes when I took summer school. It sure helped to get thru the school. And as far as your family fighting you are doing the right thing ,Just got to your room and put on some music and do your homework. Don't let the stress get to you. and as far as a at a girl you can say that to yourself because of the person you are turning out to be. GOOD LUCK AND KEEP A SMILE ON YOUR FACE !!!!! If you need support I am always here.

Stress is the emotional strain brought on by tension or pressure. I am very concerned by the seeming epidemic of depression and teen suicide in the USA which is a direct result of this stress. Stress is entirely mental. To relieve it begins with simply adopting and believing the Alfred E. Neuman attitude of "What, me worry, why?" Once you have convinced yourself of the truth, that there is no such person as the "Loser" so feared by the young you are on your way to freedom. Such a person is only a figment of the imaginative propaganda of those responsible for the pressure.

Know yourself and your abilities and limitations and love and accept yourself. Good luck in your flight from pressure, good mental health, peace and Love!