My daughter is bipolar, taking lithium, but I am stressed all the time trying to help, she is 21?

How do others cope with family members that have a mental illness? She is defensive when I try to be "mom" but she doesn't always see that she needs help at times.

My son was diagnosed with bipolar last September, when he was 21 years old. He, too, was put on lithium and invega. My doctor gave me zoloft because of all the stress I was going through. To make a long story short, I gained 20 pounds and have since stop taking the meds and only recently have I lost the weight, although I still have three pounds to go.

The lithium made my son lathargic and what he called "flat lined". He stopped taking his meds (another long story). He is now on 100 mg of lamictal and somewhat stablized. He did, however, recently have a manic episode because he stayed up all night and didnt get his sleep. I dont know if I am out of the woods yet where he is concerned but I know exactly how you feel. I am stressed. If you need any other info, please feel free to email me.

You should definitely get support and counseling for yourself. Another thing that you might want to look into is her medication. Sometimes drugs used for treating bi polar can actually make things worse. It can make people more violent and stuff like that. It takes a while to find the right medications, everyone is different. She also may need a combination of meds. Like an anti-depressant and a mood stabilizer. I don't know if you guys are in family counseling together or not, but if you aren't i would suggest that too. That way there you can get how you feel out in the open with an other person there to help guide the conversation. Counseling for yourself though will help teach you to talk to your daughter in a way that wont make her defensive. They can teach you different techniques and ways to word things. I wish you the best of luck and take care!

She is 21 - if she says she doesn't want your help, then back off. Mental illness is not the same as mental retardation. Unless she is in a major depressive phase or off the scale manic, she is able to make decisions for herself. You have to cut the apron strings some time, maybe now is the right time.

It will be less stressful for you if you help her when she wants it an back off when she doesn't. Let her make mistakes and learn how to control her symptoms.

my son is also bipolar and refuses to take his meds, I under stand bipolar is different in boys than in girls, but when things were totally out of control I called a help line and they got me in touch with a support group for families dealing with mental illness it was really great . you can try calling churches or even a mental health clinic , they should be able to help you out. keep your head up. there was a saying i read from an anonomous person that read on a pamplet that i recieved at a meeting that read "god bless those who look out a different window and bless those who understand" I wish the best to you, for I under stand what you are going through good luck to you and your daughter.

Just be there for her. The time could very well come where she does suddenly realize she really needs you, and you having tried to be actively involved in the past will make it easier.

My mom is quick to know when something is up with me, if I am in a depressive episode, if I quit calling or am really quiet on the phone or if I avoid her. So she learns to know when stuff is up, and then she knows and tries to help even if I resist her, it's good because sometimes it forces me to get help and assess the situation.

Look into the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA). They have support groups across the country. If you are in a metro area, there probably are a few so if the first one doesn't suit you, try another. The one I drop in on (second that I tried) is mostly working ppl or professionals on leave or not, has a few ppl that usually are there, others drop in periodically, and still others show for a while. In other words, it's not a static group. Friends and family are welcome with or without the person with bipolar. Talking to ppl with a shared experience is worth more than reading, chat rooms, or destressing activities.

I found mine thru the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). If you can't find locations online, contact your county mental health department. Someone there can put you in touch.

And, yeh, you need to learn when your help is vital and to let go the rest of the time. When your daughter stabilizes, it's something the two of you can work out. She needs to be the one in the drivers seat on making the plan.

You know I used to be a lot like that but as time has gone on it has become easier on my family. I also now have a daughter with bipolar disorder its very hard work with her switching moods constantly. below is a link to a group for relatives of people with bipolar many be you might find it helpful it also has a great links section thats worth a look. take care good luck

As tough as it is, you must allow her to learn . By "helping" she's becoming reliant on you and in some cases this can be detrimental. My daughter has a friend in the same situation, he's in his early 20's and mom had been there for him, so he has no idea of how to be independent.

get counseling for yourself to help cope....also see if there are any support groups in your area...