I recently discovered I am really stressed and it's getting to the point it's affecting my sex life. I been reading a lot about meditation and I think it's exactly what I need. I have no idea where to start. If someone could please recommend a website, book or CD... anything really. I just need someone to point me in the right direction. Thanks. A selection of treatments follows, because circumstances, and individual preferences vary. See stress treatments, at ezy build, below in section 42. A certain level of stress is unavoidable, in modern society, so it is a good idea to develop effective coping methods. For others, or yourself: A massage (at least neck and shoulders) with jasmine, lavender, juniper, and/or bergamot, or German chamomile essential oils added to the massage oil, and to a warm bath, preferably beforehand, to help make any tension knots and muscles more pliant (they may only want, say, a juniper and/or bergamot and/or sandalwood mix: check first). I am aware of advice that strong heat, applied to essential oils can damage them, and so I would not use a diffuser. See if they will do long, stretching yoga exercises, or t'ai chi with you (see section 2, at ezy build, below).
Practise daily, one of the relaxation techniques on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i; whichever works best for you, but the mindfulness breathing for 15 - 20 mns is ideal, although the progressive muscle relaxation can be learned quickly, and takes only several minutes, if pressed for time. Employ the EFT version for use in public, for which you can reasonably claim that you have a headache, as you massage/tap your temples, but it may be advisable to restrict yourself to subvocalising (saying it to yourself, in your mind, not aloud). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o refer. "Even though I sometimes suffer from stress, I deeply and completely accept myself".
(The following is a variant of EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective. It is easy to be dismissive of such a seemingly unusual technique, but give it a good tryout, for at least a few weeks, to see if it is effective in your case.).
Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath. Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: "a thousand and one": this takes approximately a second). Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally, if you like) 20 times. Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel.
Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do. With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed, which greatly widens the window of opportunity for its use, and avoids attracting unwanted attention.
I have found that the 2 - 3 minutes spent using the EMDR markedly reduces distractions to the relaxation process, and is repaid many times over. With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed, which greatly widens the window of opportunity for its use, and avoids attracting unwanted attention.
You can also multitask, using the gazing technique, as you walk/jog or exercise, by focusing on a distant object, or just focus awareness on how each step feels, noting any thoughts which flash across your mind, without pursuing any particular train of thought, just gently redirect your focus to the task at hand.
For some people, it helps to visualise of a quiet, relaxing scene, (Imagine, as vividly as you can, that you are on a tropical beach, reclining comfortably; you luxuriate, as the the sun warms you, and a gentle breeze caresses your skin lightly, inhaling the tangy, sea scented, salt laden spray from the sparkling, translucent, aqua waves, crashing on the white, coral beach sand, and feeling the hot sand slip through your fingers in one hand, sipping your favorite drink with the other; all the while, the seagulls call, swoop and cavort playfully overhead in a cloudless, azure sky: you feel just like one of them, free to soar and cartwheel, or just glide in the moist, heavy air, and that this moment will last forever ... ).
Some people may find it helps when they listen to: http://www.amazon.com/Sounds-Of-The-Ocea... Other suggestions: http://www.secretsofmeditation.com/demo....
and the audio, as well as the printed version, at: http://www.lessons4living.com/relaxation... and http://www.amazon.com/Ambient-Rain-Sound... or the mountain river sounds. Take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily, replacing 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements, or a teaspoonful of the oil (I spread mine on toast, and mask its strong taste with fishpaste, and pepper), in the winter months only. Those people who receive adequate exposure to sunlight, daily, won't need the vitamin D from cod liver oil, but many people, particularly those in latitudes far from the equator, find this difficult, to achieve. Eat healthily, in accordance with your "nutritional type" as determined at http://www.mercola.com/ SEARCHBAR.
Ginseng (Panax Ginseng (Chinese/Korean/Japanese), panax quinquefolius (American) Eleutherococcus senticosus (Siberian)). It is also known as man root, life root and heal all. Lady's Slipper (Cypripedium pubescens) Lady's slipper is one of the most widely applicable nerviness available. It can be used in all stress reactions, emotional tension and anxiety states. Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable). C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk.
Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey, because these will reduce "sugar spikes", which later deplete you of energy. Minimise/eliminate consumption of highly processed foods, particularly grain products, such as white bread, donuts, cake, cookies/biscuits, or anything with sugar. Opt for more wholefoods, non-starchy vegetables, and fruit.
Light to moderate daily exercise helps fight stress. http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris
Practice one of the meditation methods in sections 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. I know of this place called The Hendricks institute. They charge, but they have some guided recordings... They're pretty New-Agey and touchy-feely.
If you live in a metro area, you might find it easy to locate some type of meditation center, such as ones that do Transcendental Meditation.
I recommend that you join a group, either at a center or at a gym, or something. Don't rely solely on meditating by yourself because it's a huge learning curve, but it's nice to do as a complement to group meditation. research Buddhism or Taoism. those 2 religions really focus on meditating! look up Tai Qi (ty chee) also! i know a quick practice is to sit in peace and quite and focus on your breathing, the blood circulating through your body, the good air flowing in and the bad air flowing out, etc. haha. try this for about 5 minutes and see if you can tell a difference. good luck and i hope this helps!! It sounds stupid, but when I get stressed, I put my sons Cd's on. They are just kids ones like old McDonald and all the usual childish songs that kids sing. I find that by going for a drive and singing along, I feel like the biggest fool and end up laughing at myself because I feel like a child again. By the time I get home (even if I have only gone around the block) I feel like a new person, stress free. Hope this works for you too. Best of luck with whatever you choose. |
