I was raped 7 months ago and since I have suffered from denial and post traumatic stress disorder. Now I have admitted the rape to myself I am turning my life around, the only problem is I have developed bed eating habits, bad sleep patterns and other bizarre characteristics. How can I turn it around and get my life back? I've been keeping a food diary; this has helped. Pooh Bear: Thanks for that. I refuse to label myself 'victim' and agree with you. But I have got to that stage where I need some help with this and I am not afraid to ask for it Regarding a previous answer...grit and determination will NOT "cure" you. NOT ! And most military veterans do sufer consequences. The sooner the help, the better chances of not getting ptsd.
It's time to put this kind of thinking in the trash forever. This kind of thinking is exactly what prevents people from getting help, keeps people living in a hell they can't get out of, and re-inforcing the feeling they must be weak and worthless. There are alot more people with PTSD whose trauma were not from military service than there are from the military and there are alot that are military.
Pooh bear please get informed before handing out bad advice. Sounds like only very weak people can get PTSD. Nothing can be further from the truth. And very few get past trauma without help. Those you think do have it all bottled up inside...which is the cause of PTSD in the first place.
Victim thinking is one challenge we all face. We all started out as victims of something that we were not designed to handle. The challenge is to transition to survivor mode...sometimes the difference is life changing but subtle.
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Day, Thanks for having the guts to ask for help ! It sounds like you have made alot of progress, but the signs and symptoms of ptsd or ptss are many. You might want to check them out if you are not familiar with them. That probably will account for the "bizzare" elements, and not all of them are "in the book"
Please don't expect to "get over this" by yourself. It can end up being disabling for life. The best therapy for me has been that using EMDR. The good knews is rape is easier to treat than some longer term trauma as all victims share pretty much the same false beliefs. I'd be glad to share info or chat if you like and you can be assured of confidential communication with one that is a long term sufferer of PTSD and has worked alot with victims. Email mysihba or IM in yahoo under the same name. Excuse the typing, I'm overwhelmed with aligators at the moment.
I know exactly what you're going through, and it is a hard process.
There's no easy fix, no perfect solution to help you through everything, unfortunately.
These were your couping mechanisms. These habits are what helped you deal with everything that happened to you. It's going to be hard, and it's probably going to take a while to feel as if you've completely turned your life around, but knowing that you're working toward that, and putting effort into trying will make it worth it.
This is the approach that I would suggest.
1) Work with one habit at a time. Start with whatever you think is holding you back the most, or whatever you think will be easiest to change. Take your time doing it though. Realize that it's a day-by-day process, and breaking a couping mechanism can be hard and at times stressful. Don't be too hard on yourself if you take a step back, just look at the next day as a chance to move forward again.
2) I wouldn't worry about completely breaking a habit before turning to the next one. Just get to the point where it's under control, and you feel comfortable enough focusing on a second habit while keeping the first in mind.
Keep up with the food diary if that helps you. Try keeping a general life diary, recording the work that you have put behind changing all the habits you want to break. Or if there is someone you are comfortable talking to about all of this, ask if they'll support you and help you.
Good luck with everything.
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I just wanted to react to some of the comments I saw.
Although I do believe 100% that therapy is something that someone should do after something like this, I also know what it feels like to just want to be done with that. No, there's no shame in therapy or medication, but there is also no shame in stopping therapy or medication (if you do so safely) and just doing it yourself.
Also, I don't believe that sheer determination will help you "just get over it." Rape isn't something that you can just get over.
I was raped more than 12 years ago, and it still effects my life. It wasn't until a year ago that I admited to myself that this wasn't something that was ever just going to go away, and there is nothing wrong with that. Most people admit that this is something that continues to be a part of their lives, years and years after it happens. The key, is not to let it ruin your life, or run your life. You have been through a horrific ordeal and really well done for admitting this to yourself and taking steps to take back the control of your life!
I think the best thing for you to do is to seek professional help, this will give you the best chance of gettiung your life back on track and resolving any problems you have developed as a consequence. You deserve the best chance.
Keep on with your food diary, remember how improtant food is and that you need it to keep going, it is like medicine in a sense.
If you don't want to get professional help, then i would recommend getting a CBT workbook - it will help. There is one called Overcoming Anxiety by Melanie Fennel, it might be a good place to start.
I send you deep peace, take care :) Look, I dont mean this to sound harsh or anything but it just takes the grit and determination and the decision by yourself to do it.
People go to war and suffer terrible atrocities and although some do not, most readjust when they come back by sheer determination of will to do so.
You didnt die - you lived. Are you now going to let him win and let it ruin the rest of your life?
I am all for counselling and getting things out in the open - but there comes a time when I firmly believe you just put the whole sorry mess behind you and get on with your life.
It might stalk your dreams for a while but dont let it.
We are losing the ability as a species to get over things. To actually bite down and face the challenge and just damn well say 'you are not going to ruin my life. I am going to walk down the street with my head held high because scum like you are not going to have my life as well as your own!' And then actually follow that through.
We are the masters of our own destinies and I do think that we allow far too much of what happens to us to affect our lives instead of turning away from it and saying 'you are the past. I am the future'.
There is something to be said for the stiff upper lip of being British you know.
I do speak from experience. I have had my fair share of awful things happen to me over my life - but they are not going to get the better of me. Its my life and I will live it in sunshine not shadow.
So stand up, decide you are not a victim and just walk forward.
Do you know what? Its a lot damned easier than you think once you get going. Yes, you might stumble, but be determined and you will walk tall and strong. Because you decide to.
Hope it all gets better for you. i know this is hard but a good move wode be talking to a doc
to help with meds alot off ppl get raped from the ex
and other reson but a good move wode be going to see a doc so u can get ur life on the rite way so u wont go hurt ur selff or sumthing.
i know alot oof ppl hate seeing the doc but a therapy can help also
so he/she can help u throw this hell
sorry if my english not so great
and 2 i hope u can get over this =) u have ppl that care jues do the rite things As the others said - get professional help. But don't settle! I have PTSD too but for an assortment of other reasons and have had a hard time with "flashbacks" - yes they will happen. It took me at least 5 different therapists before I hit the jackpot. If you don't feel like there was progress on the first or second visit look for someoone new. Some of them could be downright cruel.
My therapist was honest and told me that she can't make whatever feelings I have go away but she could give me the tools to handle them when they come up. And she has. So find that person who is good for you. They will help you to realize issues that have taken you over that you didn't even think were issues, just "the way you are now"
Good Luck! get professional help. There is no shame in it after going through that. A good counselor can get you on the right path of recovery. |
