Is brain swelling normal after a major stroke and how long before we should worry?

My ex husband had a stroke three days ago and now his brain is swelling, they cannot treat his stroke (Ischemic) because of blood disorder problems. They say to just sit and wait. He already has 70 % damage to the right side of his brain. He is still awake and gives one word answers. He is 42 years old. I just dont know what to say to prepare my child for this. He is 9 years old.

The hospital where your husband is will have a chaplain and a "child life specialist", and I encourage you to avail yourself of both.
Ask the doctor to write an order for your son to see the child life specialist. She (usually) will be highly experienced in working with kids who are in scary situations in hospitals and will be able to explain what's happening to your husband in a way your son will be able to understand.
If there's a way you can have the chaplain with you when the neurologist makes rounds, it will be great support for you and may soften the blow when the doctor tells you about your husband's prognosis for a functional recovery. 70% damage is huge.
Ask the doctor for referrals for speech, occupational, and physical therapies if he hasn't already.
I'm sure the neurologist will

Brain swelling is a reaction from injury. A stroke is an injury and it is inflamed as a healing response.

The brain, being more precious, can be compared to getting a bruise on your arm. It swells before it heals.

The more hurt you are about this, the harder it is on your child. The more your child suppresses his feelings, the more it will come out as destructive behavior later on.

To prepare your child and future, get a family therapist through your insurance. I'm sure they will pay and qualify you due to this trauma.

Your husband has to have ongoing physical therapy through your insurance as well. He cannot go a day without it after his recovery or he will atrophy on the side of his body he is not using, so hopefully he is covered.

I can't imagine what you are going through. Do you have family members who can help with this burden? Friends? Church?

The link below is to an article titled, "Coping with a Parent's Illness." It was written for teens but I think you'll get some insight out of reading it that can help you talk to your son.

My husband's stroke did a lot of damage, too, leaving him right side paralyzed and with the typical language disorders that come with many kinds of strokes. Your ex-husband will have a long, hard road to recovery. Once he gets past this beginning stage and he gets stabilized, therapies can begin when he's strong enough. I wouldn't tell your son "everything is going to be okay" because chances are your ex will have stroke deficits to overcome and that will take a long time. Only time will tell how much he'll get back and how fast. Give your son hope for a lot of improvement but prepare him for it to be a long time before he'll get his dad back.

I can understand the concern if he has blood disorders, but loosing so much of your right brain is tragic. For most people, the right brain houses all of their creative faculties, while the left brain deals in facts and cold hard evidence. This might explain the short one word answers. The right brain also has more capacity to be relational with people, so you might be loosing a big part of the man you once knew. I can't offer you any medical advice, aside from obtaining a second opinion if possible. I do recommend a book I just read. It is called 'My Stroke of Insight', by Jill Bolte Taylor. It might be helpful in the recovery process, although she lost the function of her left brain. Still, it details what the right brain does and how it sees the world.

i am so sorry to hear this, its very sad. be strong for your child tell him eveything will be ok but that dad has had an acident and you dont know when he will get better. as he gets older you can explain to him more about what is wrong. be strong for both of you. i will pray you get thru this hard time

That's tragic. Sorry.

no it's not normal...