And if so, why didn't Santa get that deer into counseling? How dare you speak such sacriligous offenses against Rudolph.
Rudolph was born Helmut Ludwig Rudolph to his parents Helga and John Sebastian. In the catholic custom, they sent the reindeer to parochial school. When Rudolph was 3 months old he had a vision of the virgin reindeer, Saint Agnes of the sky and Papa Noel. The virgin reindeer blessed him with the ability to fly and Papa Noel rubbed his red coat across his nose and the light of a thousand fairies shot out of it. Papa Noel showed rudolph how to turn the light off and on.
Now when Rudolph grew up he tried to mix it up with the other reindeers, but none of them went to parochial school and they were bad apples so he found it hard to fit in with them. Rudolph was mainly bored all day after graduating from parochial school and all.
You know the rest... bad storm front with low pressure from china... poor visibility on all coastal fronts. It was a mess. But thanks to the virgin reindeer Agnes of the sky and Papa Noel, Rudolph came in to clinch christmas for satan clause.
He's retired now and cashed in his 401k since the stock market is shot. I hear he hangs out on the red planet Mercury. Much warmer climate there and a lot of things there are ... RED. He even has a lifetime of redbull, since it gives you wings.
P.S. oh man i'm so funny. Reindeer go crazy for fly agaric mushroom (Amanita muscaria), which the Lapp people traditionally used for its hallucinogenic effects.
Lapp shamans used to eat the mushroom during the midwinter pagan ceremonies of Annual Renewal. The first effect of eating it was a deep coma-like slumber. When the shamans woke the drug stimulated their muscular systems, so that a small effort produced spectacular results - the intoxicated person perhaps making a gigantic leap to clear the smallest obstacle. The effect on animals was generally the same, and a mushroom-maddened super-reindeer traditionally guarded each shaman. When missionaries first reached Santa's native Lapland, they found a thriving pagan myth of reindeer flight. Rather than oppose it, they shrewdly assimilated the stories into the folklore of Christmas and Saint Nicholas. This then, is the true origin of the legend of Santa's flying sleigh. The colour scheme of his outfit is taken from the unmistakable red and white cap of the fungus. Lapps still scatter the mushroom in the snow to round up reindeer. Incidentally, the urine of people who eat the mushroom contains substantial quantities of the isoxazole derivatives that produce the intoxicating effect. Impoverished Lapps knew this, and collected round the huts of rich Lapps who indulged in the mushroom at Christmas parties. When their overlords came out to relieve themselves in the snow, the serfs collected the urine to drink. When they, in turn, urinated in the snow, the reindeer fought to utilise what remained of the mushroom's intoxicating effects.
Fly agarics appear on Christmas cards and New Year cards from around the world as a symbol of good luck. They also function as Christmas tree decorations, derived from their ectomycorrhizal relationship with coniferous trees. The ethnobotanist Jonathan Ott has suggested that the idea of Santa Claus and tradition of hanging stockings over the fireplace is based centrally upon the fly agaric mushroom itself. With its generally red and white color scheme, he argues that Santa Claus's suit is related to the mushroom. He also draws parallels with flying reindeer: reindeer had been reported to consume the mushroom and prance around in an intoxicated manner afterwards.Until the 20th century the red-and-white Santa suit familiar today was not firmly established, although Saint Nicholas, on which Santa Claus is partly based, was always depicted in red (see also: Origins of Santa Claus). One scholar researching possible links between religious myths and the red mushroom notes, "If Santa Claus had but one eye [like Odin], or if magic urine had been a part of his legend, his connection to the Amanita muscaria would be much easier to believe." Ott also speculates about Santa's bag of toys. According to historians, ancient Siberia was one of the first civilizations to use fly agaric in practice. The Siberian hut, or yurt, is equipped with a smokehole at the top. Ott suggests that a shaman entered the yurt through the smokehole with a sack of mushrooms in his hand, to be placed in stockings over the fireplace where they could be dried for celebratory use. How else do you think he got that sley up so high?
Around the world in one night? Sounds like a Friday night on the peruvian dancing powder to me....
One of the names the other reindeer used to call him was Yayoh Substance abuse is not covered by their insurance. That's a flat out lie, "guilt by association", just because he was hanging out with Ted Kennedy! Santa just had enough of him and keeps on wishing that Rudolph won't make it in the hunting season. Because Santa doesn't want to spend HR budget on his livestock. HEAY! HE comes from the snow capitol of the world man! Not his fault. He did his stint in rehab and is much much better now. Putting away a fifth a night was not out of the ordinary in that time. He must have been related to Ted Kennedy. Yes it was and Santa did tell him to go into counseling. Didn't work! Darn!
You are intolerant. He has a disease. how else did he "fly"
the elves are on meth. it helps them get all those toys made in time for Christmas. his mom had syphilis,leaving him with a sylphic nose Yep Nah...common cold how do you think he managed to lead the way around the world in one night? cocaine is a hell of a drug | 