What role can men take to stop violence against women?

It's something I've wondered for a while. Women have organised themselves to provide refuges, support services etc to provide relief, and information for women and their children to get away from violent men.

What can men do though, in support of the women who do this work? Why are women predominantly the ones who are dealing with it, when men are predominantly the ones who are the protagonists?

I know that men also find themselves in situations of domestic violence, and I think it's important that we start talking about this too. The issue doesn't seem to be as systematic as it does for women (not as many male victims) though.

So, what can we do to try to put a stop to it, and take some responsibility?

(please don't flame me. I'm genuinely interested)

When men hear other men talking lightly or seriously about violence against women they should speak up against it loudly, and condemn it. To remain silent while violence is laughed at is to consent to the activity. Men must be active against it and condemn it in their discussions with other men, They must do the same thing about rape. Turning away from a discussion that belittles the act of rape to a joke is to silently consent to the act.

Never really thought of getting organised to do anything about it I didn't even know there were such organisations for men to join up with. I have seen a lot of violence towards women in my life and decided early on that I wasn't going to be that kind of man. I do think you can choose even though sometimes it is hard. Women are more stuck because they have the kids to look out for and sometimes they don't know what else to do. Now I've got more free time these days I will look into one of those groups it can't hurt to all do our bit.

Men do help and they could do more. They can volunteer to walk college women around campus at night. They can ensure that their girlfirends and other girls are safe when they are at parties by keeping an eye on them so that if the girl gets drunk she is helped to leave the party instead of getting raped. They can form buddy networks to help their friends keep their sisters, girl friends and any girls safe from predators. They can simply try to be more aware of dangers that women face when alone and in public. They can also help other men who need to get away from domestic violence rather than degrading such men. Help them escape safely. They can share custody of their kids with their ex-wives in as pleasant a manner as possible.

There are some who choose not to do anything because it hasn't affected them directly and cannot possibly understand the severity of the situation.

There are some who choose not to do anything out of fear of retaliation or becoming involved in drama they don't need in their lives.

As for what role??? Well men can become men and exercise some self control.

But most (In my opinion) do not get involved because they feel the victim is there by choice. With all the services available to victims today, why would they choose to stay in a home where they are being battered?

I personally was not aware of the extent of the problem until I started dating a former victim who had become a counsellor and was very active with her shelter.

Unfortunately that relationship did not work out. She spent more time trying to push buttons and force responses than just getting along.

That was 9 years ago and I am married with kids now. She and I speak occasionally, and she has expressed her regret, but it's a bit too late now.