OK, since violence against women is wrong, why are they telling us "DON'T BE A VICTIM", like it's our fault?

I'm @ the library on the university college campus a few blocks away from my house, & I went through the student union, & they were signing T-shirts with the Clothesline Project, writing messages to women (dead or alive) who were victims of any sort of violence. & I saw signs all over the place, saying, "Don't be a victim!" That upset me. How can we prevent violence, whether it's domestic or public?

Now, my twin sister was jumped by 2 people a couple of days ago, & the police discriminated against her for being mentally disabled & wanted to arrest HER for assault, but the 2 people jumped & assaulted HER! I live in TX, & she lives in GA, so I couldn't be there for her defense. But what do you think about this?

How are we supposed to know IN ADVANCE that we'll be a victim? Wouldn't you think that if we knew danger was there, we'd steer clear from it?

i would agree with you that the victim is not at fault, but women need to understand that people in power (men) don't want to give it up, and by raping, jumping, and assaulting, they feel in control. women need to start to fight back by being prepared for an attack, and being able to defend themselves.

The justice system is screwed up. When it comes to things, the perpetrators are not always caught and the victims are left to suffer. It's not just women who are discriminated against, but also children and minorities. I have no real answer, because this is just how our world works.

All I can tell you, is to stay safe and protect your sister.

i think what they might mean by this is not to play the victim don't put yourself in sistuations where something like that would happen!
grant you if something crazy happend and it shouldn't of there is that exction !
but don'tplay the victim
i don't as for what happen to you twin
that was WRONG! i would get names here!


and do you think girls who dress like hookers want to be raped? no but they are upping there chances!

just some random thoughts!

Don't be a victim in the sense they are saying it
1.) Don't stay in a relationship after you have been beaten.
2.) Don't keep quiet, charge the person who hurt you and stand up for yourself.

The saying is misleading because there is nothing shameful in being a victim of a crime but it is short and catchy so that is probably why it stuck.

The "don't be a victim" campaign appears to be a community awareness...education effort.
Reminding people to be on their toes.
Don't put yourself in harms way
Don't carry yourself with victim demeanor
be alert etc.
Some people really are oblivious to the dangers, the "that wont happen to Me", mentality.

Sorry about your sister...that's very frustrating.

To be forewarned...

You know, you provide a perfect example to demonstrate the point. Its saying that you shouldn't just let it happen and then cry about it. Here you are, crying about it preemptively, then state that you're not willing to take simple steps to protect yourself.

What these activists mean by "don't be a victim" is that once in the situation of domestic violence you don't have to stay there. It also means that by speaking out against domestic violence, you are raising awareness so that others don't have to stay in these horrible situations.

It was bad that your sister was jumped by those people. Know think about how much worse it be if you knew that the same thing was going to happen again today and tomorrow and the next day and the next.......This is what victims of domestic live with. And most of the time they think they deserve or that there is no way out. That is what being a victim is, staying there and knowing that everyday you might be hurt. The way the cops treated your sister is not much different than the way they treat victims of domestic violence. I will never forget the first time I called the police on my ex. I had bruises on arms, bruises around my throat, a cut on my forehead and the cops looked at me and said "well, what do you want us to do about it?". I will never forget the feeling of worthlessness and shame that I felt at that moment. Even the cops thought I deserved to be treated that way! Now mind you times have changed, that was 20 years ago. But the reason times have changed is because of those activists shouting "DON'T BE A VICTIM".

There are behaviors which make people more likely to become a victim. If you're wandering around dangerous parts of town at 3 AM by yourself, you're running a pretty big risk of becoming a victim of some kind of violent crime. This doesn't mean you deserve that, but unless you absolutely have to do this for some reason, you're really an idiot if you do it. You say that people steer clear of danger, but that's not always the case. You'd be surprised how many idiots are out there.

Unless you're a child, mentally disabled, or otherwise unable to do so, your personal safety is your own responsibility first and foremost. It sounds insensitve to say "don't be a victim," but a lot of crime could be avoided if people just used common sense. Certainly not all crime is preventable, but a good bit of it is.

I don't really know what to say about your sister's case. It sounds strange. If what you say is true, it sounds pretty bad for what the police are doing. It happens a lot unfortunately, both for men and women.

There are ALWAYS going to be human trash people who victimize people. It's nature. There are evil people and there always will be. If you walk around alone at night in a bad area, you're putting yourself at risk. There's a reason we have locks on our doors.... and it's not for looks. There are bad people out there and we all know it.

Part of not being a victim is to think before you put yourself into a situation where you're likely to become a victim.

Also, violence against ANYONE is wrong. Not just women.

"Don't be a victim" would mean, once you see that first act of violence, get OUT. Don't believe his "...but, baby, I only beat the sh!t out of you because I love you" crap. If he truly loves you, he'd never, ever raise a hand to you in anger, or otherwise.

You're putting yourself in "the situation" when you start to believe anything that comes out of his mouth, and he starts to sway you into thinking he could change. He probably could change, but he's not going to do it by himself. He'll need counseling and anger management, for a glimmer of any hope, but then, he's someone else's problem not yours.

No one is "blaming" the women. What usually seems to happy to women who get abused is they feel gulity, they feel it's their fault... the slogan is trying to say DON'T feel that way... that it's not their fault and they did nothing wrong to feel guilty over.

In that case, I think the shirt should have read "Don't ALLOW yourself to be a victim".

They also could mean "Don't be a victim" by meaning, use common sense. Don't go down dark alleys by yourself at night, don't keep your hands busy while walking to the car, learn self-defense...

No one is blaming the woman for being a victim. People are just trying to raise awareness that these things happen and as a woman you should:
1) be as smart as you can to try to prevent anything and
2) to not feel you were wrong if by some chance something does happen


I'm guessing you're a college freshman. Get some real world experience under your belt and then ask yourself this question in a few years. I'm sure your outlook will change.

Apparently you have your head stuck up your butt so allow me to try to explain:

It ISN'T your fault if someone attacks you.

It IS your fault if you choose to remain naive and blind to the fact that attackers prey on unprepared people.

It IS your fault if you don't do everything you can to prepare yourself for an attack, including abandoning the assumptions of where attackers attack and what attackers look like.


It IS your fault if you insist that you shouldn't have to be on guard because attackers shouldn't be out there. This isn't a perfect world we live in; deal with it. You can't control the fact that attackers are out there but you can choose not to be a helpless victim.

In short you can't choose not to be confronted by an attacker, but you can choose to prepare yourself as much as you can by learning martial arts, carrying a can of mace, or whatever, especially when you know that there are people in your area who are attacking women .

Dont be a victim means dont have a victim mentality. Number one dont put yourself into situations that are likely to have bad outcomes and number two if something bad happens to you dont let it dominate your life forever.

By putting yourself in a bad situation I mean: walking to your car alone late at night in a poorly lit area; going out drinking and/or doing drugs with people who are untrustworthy; going out and drinking and/or doing drugs to the extent that it is going to effect your judgement...etc.

Im not blaming the victim Im simply saying there are ways of decreasing your chances of becoming a victim.

Well the "dont be a victim" isn't as bad as you make out. The hard truth of the matter is that when something bad happens to someone, they might get a little bit of symathy but it isn't going to last long if your feeling all sorry for yourself. If you bounce back on the other hand and try not to let things get to you too much then you'll be able to get your life back on track and people will respect you for it. It's got nothing to to with gender by the way the same goes for anybody who gets beaten up, bullied, discriminated or whatever.

Try not to take my post as cold heartedness by the way. I think it's awful what happened.

It's a very good question. Ultimately, there are all sorts of violence. It's very difficult to avoid random attacks, and unfortunately also difficult to avoid police incompetence when you have been attacked.

On the other hand, some people are attacked by their intimates, their family, partners etc. Whilst it's difficult to avoid the first attack if you don't see it coming, you can choose to avoid the second attack by leaving and getting help. So I guess what they were saying is don't choose to be a repeated victim of violence - ie, a victim in the long run. Really sorry to hear about your sister - ask to speak to someone in charge at the police station and double check that the officers involved acted correctly, superiors are used to handling complaints about their staff - it happens, but you have a right to justice nonetheless. Good luck :-)